Big Animals and Big Decisions

So we have a mere four days left in Singapore and I'm getting really really sad. We had a great last weekend (it's Sunday morning so there's still some time left for more great weekending); we went out with the head of the Johns Hopkins International Medical Center (where I had my life talk - more to come on that below) on Friday night, relaxed by our pool on Saturday and had a lunchbreak of indian food and cendol totaling 5.00 (3.50 indian food lunch and 1.50 cendol). I'm gonna miss the amazingly tasty and cheap food.





We then went to the Night Safari at the Singapore Zoo. They open up the park from 7 to 12 and all the animals to view are nocturnal. We did some walks and then got on a tram ride that brings you around the entire park. During the first trail we did before the tram ride, we were inching along waiting to see what would be next and realized it was the cheetah. It was pacing back and forth right up against the window where we'd stand to watch. It had it's whole little world and decided to be right smack up against the glass. We were uncessecarily scared and asking each other "are you sure the glass is thick? Where does the cage end?" We couldn't walk right up to the glass because our stupid fear was paralyzing. I should probably jump back to the beginning of the trails when we were talking about how scared we were because we were basically walking along in the dark waiting to see creatures in the night (creatures that sometimes eat humans in the wild). So we're standing at a distance from the cheetah, but inching forward as we got more comfortable. Right then the cheetah lets out a terrifying roar . . . meow . . . growl? Whatever it was it made us both scream, drop our maps and run backwards up the trail. As we were slowing down we realized we were passing four year olds who were eagerly walking towards the cheetah cage. Ugh, beat by my wimpiness. We got the courage up to go closer to the cage when the little four year olds were closest. Hopefully the cheetah would get them if - and most likely when - it broke through the four inch thick glass (looking back, I know how ridiculous this was because we are in Singapore, a place that does not like to be on the news in regards to anything bad. SARS ruined Singapore in that respect. I doubt this country wants to be known for SARS and for the cheetah that got out of its cage to eat an American tourist. But this epiphany was in retrospect. At the time my mind was clouded by terror).

So we got on the tram after realizing the trails weren't the best place for big ol' sissies. We saw elephants, girrafes, rhinos, hippos, bears and a lot of other animals that I'd never heard of. I saw many otters, which made me happy because otters are some of my favorite animals. Silly, I know, but how could you not love an animal that floats in the water and eats its dinner off its belly simultaneously? Big thumbs up for the Night Safari - however - if you go, I suggest going on a weekday because Saturday night was mayhem with the strollers and crying children.

We then met up with some friends at Clarke Quay for drinks. I love the Quay area nightlife. It is open until about 5am and you can find a burger or Turkish ice cream until that hour as well.



So back to my life discussion with the head of JHIMC. I was telling him how sad I am to leave and he asked if I would like a job here. That made my head spin a bit but after some discussion, he said to talk with my nurse manager on Monday - tomorrow - and I am. I've loved every minute I've spent traveling and meeting people from all over the world. The two things that are pulling at me are my career path (In Baltimore I'd be working at the best oncology center in the nation. I also have my MSN/MPH to start in a year - and they only allow you to defer a year, max. In Singapore, the floor is definitely not equipped to handle a new graduate the way Baltimore is; Balitmore has a fantastic springboard program for new grads that lasts six months and I'd be trained very well.l) and my desire to have an adventure (I'd be able to travel all over Asia as it's so easy to do so from Singapore. I'd be able to live in a foreign country. I'd be able to meet all different types of people and nurse an international patient population). It's two things that are both important to me and I'm having a hard time deciding what is more important. I also have to take into consideration the fact that I'd be paid much less here in Singapore - but the cost of living is also less. Student loans. . . car payments. . . rent . . . furniture. . . family. . . so many things to consider when considering actually moving here for a year or so. I have to do just that, though. I have to consider it. I'm not going to say no right away because the attraction of just the idea is fantastic. I've been putting off my happiness for quite some time. When my dad got sick, I started taking pre-req's for nursing school while working full time. Then I was in nursing school. Then I graduated and I'm going to work and get my masters in Baltimore - a place I'd rather not live because I'll be happy afterwards. So many years of waiting to be where I want to be. It's hard waiting and finally I'm somwhere where I'm not waiting and I have this opportunity/idea dropped in my lap and I'm trying to prioritize and figure out what's best.

If it's one thing that my dad's illness, battle and journey taught me it's that you really don't know what is going to happen to you next and you should live your life the best and happiest way you can. It sounds cliche but something inside me changed and I think that it may take something drastic happening in your life to make you stop for a moment and stop worrying about the smaller things and open your eyes up to the big picture.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I have a call in to my family for some brainstorming, right now. That's all that it is - a brainstorm - but it might be more. . . ? I'll see how I feel after talking with my nurse manager tomorrow.

So today we are off to Arab street and Sentosa to the Underwater World (sea creatures).

I can't believe I leave in less than a week and start my second leg of this journey - Southern Thailand, Bangkok, Phnom Pehn and Siem Reap's Angkor Wat. I'm so sad to leave the fantastic people and country I've come to love but I'll first focus on the few days I have left and make them the best they can be.